decided to do a Biggest Loser Off Road Challenge by Spartan

and asked my nephew to be on my team

and asked my sister to be on my team

gym membership's.....all around

now, need a team name, need to register said team, need to start training!

go team!

woo-hoo

There is so much focus on girls issues with their self image….that we have forgotten about boys who also have all the same self image problems

My nephew has gone thru the weight issue, acne, hair, fashion…….and I think that he’s had it worse than I did

He was told by his gym teacher (last year) that he was obese.  This kid is 16, 5’11” and 180lbs….who the fuck does that teacher think he is to say that to a kid?  If it’s a problem, then send a letter home…this kid doesn’t need to hear that bull shit.  And by the way, he’s got at least 5 more years of growing to do….and he will be receiving his Black Belt in Karate in 2 weeks, so shut the hell up

The result of this information (hey kid, you’re obese) has caused unnecessary focus on diet, calorie counting, insisting on ‘low fat’ or ‘non-fat’, basically….an unhealthy diet

Thank god, that craziness only lasted about a month….but it could have turned into a real eating disorder….all from this idiot gym teacher

What the hell brings on a sex dream?  No instigation by movie, reading, or thought….and yet, there it was….faceless, in the dark..crazy, pretty standard but spectacular none the less….it’s been a long time in the physical world, maybe that’s why….but still, it’s been years and years and years since I’ve had a regular “spare tire”…much less a real one….hahaha……actually, more bo-hoo-hoo

Guess i should consider cracking open the few erotica books I’ve had laying around, unread…just for giggles

And now, just for giggles, my period has started…..yay…..late, so I guess I’m not quite done yet, damnit!

fresh start?

seriously need to start a new 'health regiem', hell, any 'health regiem'

that's what folks would have called it way back when

today, i need to get off my ass & into the gym, start running, eat clean, have gratitude daily, smile more, say nice things, be positive.....always

ya, that's a good list....don'tcha think?

teaching old dogs new tricks

Religion: beliefs and worship; people's beliefs and opinions concerning the existence, nature, and worship of a deity or deities, and divine involvement in the universe and human life

Politics: activities associated with government; the theory and practice of government, especially the activities associated with governing, with obtaining legislative or executive power, or with forming and running organizations connected with government

Allison: a human; a person who cannot participate in a discussion concerning religion or politics unless her emotional opinion is accepted at the correct one; also one who demands an immediate response

Exhaustion: extremely tired or weak state; a state of extreme physical or mental tiredness or collapse…..and that is what Allison does to me………

There comes a point when it’s just “yes, yes, yes, of course you’re religious & political beliefs are right, why would I feign to think otherwise”….because I finally remember  that there is no teaching old dogs new tricks if they don’t want to learn

Allison, Allison, Allison….she’s fucking killing me with her taking shit personal…ok, then so fucking be it…

 

“No, you don’t have your answer.  I have been updating my iTunes account, updating my iPhone version, updating all of my apps, backing up my iphone, backing up my photos from my iphone and finally, backing up my laptop to a zip drive.

During the process’ there were a few reboot’s to my laptop.

Followed up by a trip to the PostNet in order to get a fax sent today to my HOA

“if there’s a next time, I will be more specific” referred  to the previous sentence, “chuckles…..”  as in, if I find something funny, I will say “it’s funny”…so that there is no confusion, making it crystal clear

We have known each other a very long time.  We don’t agree on religion, that’s fine.  It also appears that determining facts is just as difficult.

I said “wow” to an article I was shocked by…….that was all I said.  Your response was your opinion….to which I responded to, point by point.

It then became a question of facts and if religious beliefs are facts.  I don’t think they are.  So that is why I said “lol, who’s truth”.  Your truth, in my understanding, is that the bible is a factual historical document.  I don’t think so.

My intention was not to hurt your feelings, and I’m very sorry that it happened.

I can’t begin to tell you how sucker punched I felt on the day I called the house and Matt told me that you two were heading over to the Gorilla-Rilla to schedule/plan having the pad poured for the new hot-tub, now that the backyard had been re-done.  My own, personal “idiot” light went on in the moment…and I came to realize that weather I had heard what I wanted to hear, or what I was actually told….there was never any intention that you two would be moving to Henderson.  This was back in January, (I think) and until know, I have kept it to myself.  Seriously, how stupid did I look telling Holly that she needed to be out cuz I was expecting you guys to come down for a home search.  Ya, dumbass central.

So, I guess we both suck equally. 

If this is the deal breaker for you, I wish you a wonderful life.  I love you and your family….be well.”

Perhaps she will get a fucking clue and understand that it’s not all about her….

What to do, what to do?  My friend, of more than 30 years has crossed a line…..it’s difficult to understand religious zealots, especially the ‘born again christian’.

The utter lack of perceptive regarding basic Human Rights, science, equality, intelligence, intelligence based on sex, sexual orientation (some races are less intelligent cuz they were born that way, but being gay is a choice and also wrong, according to her)……..this fucking broad has really stretched me to my limits.

I am having a hard time

It’s so hard to excuse stupidity, when there is so much knowledge to be had just for the asking

Yesterday was a longtime friend’s birthday.  This is the same person who lived with me for 4 months and paid me $120, but cost me hundreds….i would guess at the very least she cost me $1000……she has made NO ATTEMPT to pay me back

On my birthday, we went for a breakfast at a fav wing restaurant….cost of maybe $25, including tip

We went to dinner last nite….5 people, $230….that’s $46 per person.  Her daughter “added up” their meal & came up with $81 for the two of them…….oh hell fucking no!  I put that shit right into check

Additionally, when I was originally told about this restaurant….i was told it would be about $25-$27 per person…..it was almost double that

I’m seriously screwed until I get paid in a week

I informed my sister that next year, we would be going to a very expensive place for my bday

Frustration level is HIGH!

 

Ps…..none of her other people…..(like 5) showed up for dinner

how to end

How to stop…

Thinking, paining, pleasuring?

I’m not sure of the reasons or direction but I do know how

Why should I

I hate it

I need it

I want it

I can have it…its free…

The cost is astronomical

Disgust?  No

Frustration?  Enormous

Will I give it up?

NEVER

How to start?

Last nite, before I woke up, I dreamt that my three cars had been stolen…..i only have two cars, and of the three, the only one I remember was a brown MG….my father had a brown MG (that when he got it and fixed it up, I thought it would be for me…silly me…I never got anything from him I didn’t OVERLY deserve)

Then, a woman with dark hair was using bolt cutters, jabbing the into the exterior door jab, trying to get to the deadbolt to cut it and break into my house

I had trimming shears, you know, they’re like scissors used to cut delicate plants, as my weapon….the blades are much longer and thinner than the bolt cutters………..i was stabbing back at her

Needless to say, I woke up very disturbed……not nearly the stress, anxiety and realism that I had during the Demon Dream, but I didn’t feel normal……very defensive of my home, space, babies (my poopers) and the like

I seriously considered calling in to work…….but realistically, I can’t afford days off without pay

Speaking of which, time to check out the portfolio…burn some candles….say some words, with meaning and take charge of what is mine…

hair/sodomy

I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me god.

In the name of the father, the son, and the holy ghost. Amen.

Sodomy
Fellatio
Cunnilingus
Pederasty

Father, why do these words sound so nasty?

Masturbation
Can be fun
Join the holy orgy
Kama Sutra
Everyone!

 

holyshit....life seems really crazy sucky....work sucks, personal life...what personal life?

LOL

fav line from City Slickers, "if hate were people, i'd be China"

gotta change this attitude and outlook

does life teach before death

So last Saturday, about 5:15p, Rosi died…..she was the mom of some of my friends that I met in childhood..she was 77 and a diabetic and overweight and probably had a heart attack

I am unable to attend the funeral, but was there at the most important time in her family’s life, at her death

A couple of things:

First I was feeling bad that I couldn’t make the funeral….but now I see that this is the time for the family to actually get their collective shit together and take care of one another

Second, the youngest child, he will be wracked with guilt….i told him that he needed to move back closer to home…instead, he started a business

Thirteen months ago the father had a medical emergency while on a family trip….the youngest child fell right-the-fuck-apart…..it was the big-ass clue life was sending him to move…but his selfish fear of dealing with ANY type of confrontation has now left him with the memories from thirteen months ago and what could have been

I guess what I’m saying is, when life sends you a clue, be sure to figure out what it means to your life and move forward with it in a positive manner

Some days suck more than others

Ya know....or you will know now....I want someone to share my life with...I just don't know how to accomplish it
I know how to get things or results in myself, but I don't have the first idea on this
And in so many ways, I really don't have anyone
It really makes it hard to bother getting up and living everyday
Blah blah blah....sad and lame and pathetic all at the same time....boo-fucking-hoo

three...

3 people have a relationship....Two live together for a few months.......and they party, party, party....time passes, the relationship between the live-ins changes over time....they  become estranged...both continue separate relationships with the Third..........the Third continues a relationship with both of the Two.....the Third moves far, far away....the Two, who still live less than a hour from each other, only see or speak when the Third is in town and has forced the Two into an event......now, twenty plus years later, one of the Two is getting married......the Third is invited, the Other one is insulted not to be invited...REALLY?!  the Two have no relationship.....why would you be invited?  And I, the Third is in the middle....only because the Other just isn’t seeing the stupidity of the situation....

Power LG Commercial

Power LG Commercial

DO NOT start your morning/day with the last 10 minutes of the movie Stepmom….’98, Julia Roberts is the ‘stepmom’ and Susan Sarandon is the mom, who is dying of cancer…the last 10 minutes take place on christmas morning….the Last Christmas Morning

I haven’t cried that hard in a long, long time….it wasn’t just crying, bawling…horrible

I miss my Mom, every day….i do, I know that I don’t have a conscious thought of her every day like I did in the beginning…but I know that miss knowing she’s there…….because she’s not there

Every payday I find myself holding my breath while I login to my bill pay service…..hopeing that there will be enough to cover my bills & leave enough to buy gas for my vehicle and food to feed my face

it’s a bit pathetic, I know, but I don’t have the luxury of a spouse to fall back on, “just in case” there isn’t enough…

I’m pretty proud of myself in that I have taken my lunch to work every nite since the beginning of January…..this may not seem like a big deal, but here’s a bigger one…..i bought myself a ‘dinner out’ last weekend for the first time, also since January

I have saved stress, heart palpitations, headache……..WOW!

now, I certainly haven’t saved any money…..but I am now able to do things with my nephew….again, not a big deal to most, but huge for me

especially because his father has no interest in doing things with his kid…..appalling!

and his mom, well, I’m not quite sure what’s up with that

anyway, no one will see this, cuz true though it is……..drama would follow, so no facebooking of this

this weekend, The Boy and i will head out to The Gorge!

i will post those pics on FB

heartbreak

To be rejected by someone doesn’t mean you should also reject yourself or that you should think of yourself as a lesser person.
It doesn’t mean that nobody will ever love you anymore.
Remember that only ONE person has rejected you at the moment, and it only hurt so much because to you, that person’s opinion symbolized the opinion of the whole world.