Commitment, sacrifice, respect
How many of us know what those words mean?
Mothers?
Soldiers?
Students?
“the poor”?
Friends?
Martyrs?
Just the day before yesterday I listened to my ‘friend’ yell, scream, keen, sob and cry over a total peace of shit man that she’s ‘dating’
And 24 hours later, she’s off to see him….i don’t think she went to work lastnite (after I gave her 80 of the $100 she gave me for ‘rent’ cuz her car is going to be re-poed…that’s a WHOLE story unto its self)
What the fuck?
It has cost me $200 in utilites alone for the first month…….plus food, meals out & then giving her back the ‘rent’…….so I’m looking at about $400, easily, in the first 4 weeks
It’s now been 7 weeks, she’s gone to the grocery store three times….she’s eating me out of house and home
Butter, eggs, milk, bread, peanut butter, potato’s, onions……are you fucking kidding me?
She’s cooked enchiladas aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand…………. Pancakes.
Cookies……baked 24, gave me 4 and ate the rest……….
I’m just ready for it to be over
She needs to get out
No, she needs to get the FUCK out
Monday, October 29, 2012
Thursday, March 1, 2012
3/1/12
Day 5 workout 2
Scarfed WAAY to much yesterday, as previously posted
Ate well at work last nite though….clif bar & chez & diet pepsi
Lunch was pasta salad…ya, not great but I had chezz, apples & caramel for dessert with 2 sobe lean fuji apple & cranberry…yumma
Work was ok, Rene is a prick…whatever
Upon pulling out of my parking place, I discovered that my left front tire was almost flat…well, I’ve been putting off getting tires…no time like the present
Went to discount tire up the street from work…$416 later & now safe on the road
I was incredibly lucky the tire didn’t blow on the freeway…
I DID NOT ALLOW THIS TO DERAIL MY EXERCISE….came home started red sauce & did my workout
Now, need to shower & eat
Gonna have some asparagus, pasta & red sauce
Also, bought some bananas, nectarines & plums….never liked plums as a kid…maybe I’ll like them now
Scarfed WAAY to much yesterday, as previously posted
Ate well at work last nite though….clif bar & chez & diet pepsi
Lunch was pasta salad…ya, not great but I had chezz, apples & caramel for dessert with 2 sobe lean fuji apple & cranberry…yumma
Work was ok, Rene is a prick…whatever
Upon pulling out of my parking place, I discovered that my left front tire was almost flat…well, I’ve been putting off getting tires…no time like the present
Went to discount tire up the street from work…$416 later & now safe on the road
I was incredibly lucky the tire didn’t blow on the freeway…
I DID NOT ALLOW THIS TO DERAIL MY EXERCISE….came home started red sauce & did my workout
Now, need to shower & eat
Gonna have some asparagus, pasta & red sauce
Also, bought some bananas, nectarines & plums….never liked plums as a kid…maybe I’ll like them now
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
2/29/12 update
made a pizza out of a half loaf of garlic bread with pizza sauce, pepperoni, chezz, & marinated artichoke hearts
watched Biggest Loser
ate some brownie, had 2 beers, a glass of milk & made a shake with milk, ice, banana, peaches & cream
ate too damn much, don't feel horrible, but certainly not good or great....o well, everyday is a challenge....the past 3 days were great, so a small dive is ok...
i did my work out......and that is the most important part
watched Biggest Loser
ate some brownie, had 2 beers, a glass of milk & made a shake with milk, ice, banana, peaches & cream
ate too damn much, don't feel horrible, but certainly not good or great....o well, everyday is a challenge....the past 3 days were great, so a small dive is ok...
i did my work out......and that is the most important part
2/29/12
Day 4, workout 1
Gonna have to get some weights…..maybe in a couple weeks (after I get paid, again)
Sweating, sweating, sweating during the workout…this is good…not having any balance is not good
Ok, right leg balance is not good…left is a bit better
Pleased that I have stuck with this for 4 days
Today is February 29th….Leap Day!
So, if I had a boyfriend, and we were serious, a really serious relationship….today would be the day I could propose to him
But that would require having a man in my life…..who was in love with me, and only me
That will not happen until I have learned how to love myself
Gonna have to get some weights…..maybe in a couple weeks (after I get paid, again)
Sweating, sweating, sweating during the workout…this is good…not having any balance is not good
Ok, right leg balance is not good…left is a bit better
Pleased that I have stuck with this for 4 days
Today is February 29th….Leap Day!
So, if I had a boyfriend, and we were serious, a really serious relationship….today would be the day I could propose to him
But that would require having a man in my life…..who was in love with me, and only me
That will not happen until I have learned how to love myself
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
2/28/12
Day 3, Cardio 1
I did it! ok, I couldn’t do the ‘running man’ straight arms & legs, jump & switch….not enough strength to jump into the air & switch legs…feel like a retard, but oh well
Feeling pretty good still, eating ok
Had a peanut clif bar & sting chez for break w/a diet pepsi
Chicken & turkey w/chez & crackers lunchable, lemonade, mixed fruit & vanilla greek yogurt & snack size nutella & crackders
Going to make another taco salad to eat today
Saw matt (from walmart) last nite at work, nicest thing anyone has said to me in a long time….he said that I looked good & didn’t need to worry about losing any weight
Well, I’m obese, so I need to lose….but it was nice to hear
I did it! ok, I couldn’t do the ‘running man’ straight arms & legs, jump & switch….not enough strength to jump into the air & switch legs…feel like a retard, but oh well
Feeling pretty good still, eating ok
Had a peanut clif bar & sting chez for break w/a diet pepsi
Chicken & turkey w/chez & crackers lunchable, lemonade, mixed fruit & vanilla greek yogurt & snack size nutella & crackders
Going to make another taco salad to eat today
Saw matt (from walmart) last nite at work, nicest thing anyone has said to me in a long time….he said that I looked good & didn’t need to worry about losing any weight
Well, I’m obese, so I need to lose….but it was nice to hear
Monday, February 27, 2012
2/27/12
Day 2, workout 2
Well, not dead yet..haha…was sore from yesterday’s workout, so I’m sure to feel this one tonite
The previous post I bitched about holly…cuz I won’t take the easy way out to lose weight & I feel like she did
I know that she has to deal with it for the rest of her life, a contraption in her gut preventing her from eating as much as she wants to…but it still is chickenshit to me
I am an emotional eater, just like the majority of obese people
I know how to eat correctly, just like the majority of obese people
Ate lentil soup for dinner w/tomato & green onion
At work, hostess cupcakes & jerky & cheez for break w/diet pepsi…I know, crap
Fruit & Greek yogurt for lunch w/diet pepsi for lunch
Making taco salad for breakfast after I shower, gonna use hamburger cuz I like it better than turkey, salsa, fat free sour cream, guacamole, cheez , red onion & some chips on iceberg
Well see how it goes
O, bought battery’s for the scale & still can’t get it to work…wtf!
Well, not dead yet..haha…was sore from yesterday’s workout, so I’m sure to feel this one tonite
The previous post I bitched about holly…cuz I won’t take the easy way out to lose weight & I feel like she did
I know that she has to deal with it for the rest of her life, a contraption in her gut preventing her from eating as much as she wants to…but it still is chickenshit to me
I am an emotional eater, just like the majority of obese people
I know how to eat correctly, just like the majority of obese people
Ate lentil soup for dinner w/tomato & green onion
At work, hostess cupcakes & jerky & cheez for break w/diet pepsi…I know, crap
Fruit & Greek yogurt for lunch w/diet pepsi for lunch
Making taco salad for breakfast after I shower, gonna use hamburger cuz I like it better than turkey, salsa, fat free sour cream, guacamole, cheez , red onion & some chips on iceberg
Well see how it goes
O, bought battery’s for the scale & still can’t get it to work…wtf!
Sunday, February 26, 2012
2/26/12
I’m posting here cuz Im a chickenshit.
I’m a chickenshit cuz I haven’t finished anything in a very long time
DIET EXERCISE LOVE SELFWORTH all words that do not describe me
These are words that should describe me
A ‘friend’ (‘friend’ because we haven’t had a real balanced relationship in many years) who weighted 400 plus pounds had gastric/lap band surgery 3 years a go
She has now lost over 250 pounds
She was an angry self-centered bully before, it hasn’t changed….except that she has become a whore. I take that back, because I stopped spending time with her several years ago because she was being a whore
A whore cuz she was fucking 12 guys, that I knew of, in 18 months…..those were the men I knew about……I absolutely know that there are/were more. This was in the last 2 years….2010-2012
I am now 46 & ¾ years old.
I don’t’ know for sure my weight, cuz the scale batteries are dead.
I would expect about 290
I’m 5’71/2”
That is just a gross amount of weight
I bought the Jillian Michaels body revolution dvd workouts
Tonite I did the first one, I’m beat but feeling good had to open the slider about half way thru the workout…sweating
The heater came on…it’s supposed to come on at 65 degrees…I closed the slider after the workout cuz I got cold & had to put on a sweatshirt
Now, on tv is Beijing 2008: America’s Olympic Glory…….there are no coincidences, its’ inspiring to see what these athletes have done to get where they are
I was an athlete before…I was…..i will be again, proud of what I can do, proud of who I am
When I allow myself to have that again, have selfpride, selfworth & selflove….when I allow myself to have ALL that again…that is the time that I will find love
Well, that was a big random vomitious post….they will get better…as I get better
I’m a chickenshit cuz I haven’t finished anything in a very long time
DIET EXERCISE LOVE SELFWORTH all words that do not describe me
These are words that should describe me
A ‘friend’ (‘friend’ because we haven’t had a real balanced relationship in many years) who weighted 400 plus pounds had gastric/lap band surgery 3 years a go
She has now lost over 250 pounds
She was an angry self-centered bully before, it hasn’t changed….except that she has become a whore. I take that back, because I stopped spending time with her several years ago because she was being a whore
A whore cuz she was fucking 12 guys, that I knew of, in 18 months…..those were the men I knew about……I absolutely know that there are/were more. This was in the last 2 years….2010-2012
I am now 46 & ¾ years old.
I don’t’ know for sure my weight, cuz the scale batteries are dead.
I would expect about 290
I’m 5’71/2”
That is just a gross amount of weight
I bought the Jillian Michaels body revolution dvd workouts
Tonite I did the first one, I’m beat but feeling good had to open the slider about half way thru the workout…sweating
The heater came on…it’s supposed to come on at 65 degrees…I closed the slider after the workout cuz I got cold & had to put on a sweatshirt
Now, on tv is Beijing 2008: America’s Olympic Glory…….there are no coincidences, its’ inspiring to see what these athletes have done to get where they are
I was an athlete before…I was…..i will be again, proud of what I can do, proud of who I am
When I allow myself to have that again, have selfpride, selfworth & selflove….when I allow myself to have ALL that again…that is the time that I will find love
Well, that was a big random vomitious post….they will get better…as I get better
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