2/26/12

I’m posting here cuz Im a chickenshit.

I’m a chickenshit cuz I haven’t finished anything in a very long time
DIET EXERCISE LOVE SELFWORTH all words that do not describe me

These are words that should describe me

A ‘friend’ (‘friend’ because we haven’t had a real balanced relationship in many years) who weighted 400 plus pounds had gastric/lap band surgery 3 years a go

She has now lost over 250 pounds

She was an angry self-centered bully before, it hasn’t changed….except that she has become a whore. I take that back, because I stopped spending time with her several years ago because she was being a whore

A whore cuz she was fucking 12 guys, that I knew of, in 18 months…..those were the men I knew about……I absolutely know that there are/were more. This was in the last 2 years….2010-2012

I am now 46 & ¾ years old.

I don’t’ know for sure my weight, cuz the scale batteries are dead.

I would expect about 290

I’m 5’71/2”

That is just a gross amount of weight

I bought the Jillian Michaels body revolution dvd workouts

Tonite I did the first one, I’m beat but feeling good had to open the slider about half way thru the workout…sweating

The heater came on…it’s supposed to come on at 65 degrees…I closed the slider after the workout cuz I got cold & had to put on a sweatshirt

Now, on tv is Beijing 2008: America’s Olympic Glory…….there are no coincidences, its’ inspiring to see what these athletes have done to get where they are

I was an athlete before…I was…..i will be again, proud of what I can do, proud of who I am

When I allow myself to have that again, have selfpride, selfworth & selflove….when I allow myself to have ALL that again…that is the time that I will find love

Well, that was a big random vomitious post….they will get better…as I get better